Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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