I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
id be glad to
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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