why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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