i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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