You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
