Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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