All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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