We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
