my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
