I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
