don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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