If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
did you just send me my own nude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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