Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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