I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
