you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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