Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And then he peed in my hair
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