Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
