I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
