I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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