Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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