you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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