We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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