Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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