you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
