Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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