we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
