How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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