He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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