you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My pussy is not your playground.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
