You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
