My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
