I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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