Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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