Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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