You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Randomize
