Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
