operation harelip BJ is a go
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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