Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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