maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
