Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
