no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
