I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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