Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
