Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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