It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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