Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
