she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
