they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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