why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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