Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
