Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
