Do you still have your period?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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