Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
