erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
