Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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