All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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