Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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