i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
