he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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