I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
