Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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