The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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