The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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