remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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