is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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