i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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