i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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