This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
