just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
