Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
